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Grateful for 30 Years of Life | An Open Letter to My 20Something Year Old Self!

February 19, 2019

"Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of Thirty"


~Robert Frost


Chapter 30


An Open Letter to my 20something year old self...


Beautiful, smart, fragile yet bold little girl, born within the confines and definition of discounted life. HI, I hope you're doing well, in fact scratch that, well-done you have done well.


I just came to check in, and say a few things, to let you out of the dark room, to end your search for the life that is already within you. High up in the hierarchy of revelations that this letter brings, is the message that Happiness is at the door, freedom is knocking at your door, it’s safe, you can let them in.


But first, let’s lay the foundation, lets acknowledge a few things before we send them on their way and learn to live without them…


Rejection you knew very early in life, brokenness you learned to smile through because after all they named you Ncumisa (Make them smile) and you just had to live up that beautiful name :-) and that is beautiful!


But hear this, It’s birthing season. It’s time to start living the life that YOU created, the one YOU called out for in the greatness contained in your mind and inner being. You always knew that unto you a son, the life you dreamed of, would be born, just like a pregnant woman expects a baby at end of term. Well, your baby is here, it’s twins, Happiness and Freedom. It’s a life of happiness and freedom.


Free from society’s expectation, judgement and vilification, free even from self-vilification. Happiness has come, like a flood, accept it, embrace it, nurture it until it flows out of you like a river, to water even those around you.


Did I tell you that I’m proud of you? I’m looking at you from the other side, from your 30s, and I see the fruits of your labor, I am living the dream you once had. I am free and I am happy. The kind of happiness that comes from believing in your own magic. The kind that comes from within and is self-approved and self-endorsed, it does not wait from tomorrow’s events or riches, it is self-forming and self-nurturing.  


I’m here to tell you that it’s OK, you can let it all go, all that has been heavily weighing on you and convincing you that there is a specific day and moment that we are living for. It was all a lie, the moment is now, this moment right now is pregnant with opportunity, opportunity for abundant life and life un-discounted, life in its fullness is here right now. It’s a decision away, the decision to open the door to freedom and happiness.


I hope you learn to take a moment and smell the roses, because you have cultivated a beautiful rose bush and I am in awe as I watch it grow day by day. I am living in your Magic and I love it!




Yourself in your 30s ;-)


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